The Big Bang Theory S01E01【funny part】

-But there's some poor woman who's gonna pin her hopes on my sperm.
What if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve the area under a curve?

-We don't live together. I mean...
We live together,but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms.

-So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
-Today we tried masturbating for money.

-If by "holy smokes", you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure.

-In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration.
In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there.
It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct,thus discouraging conversation,nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.
I could go on, but I think I've made my point.

-Yes. It tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.